What the Actual Fuck

Singing swing ladies, exploding tires, people screaming and yelling at each other in the middle of the night and street racers crashing through the park have all been just SWELL, but now we have something to crown the shit pile (quite literally this time).

Late last night some pathetic waste of human existence broke into Oliver's car, completely trashed everything, stole the petty change and some other useless items, sprayed bbq sauce all over the seats and then took a giant heaping shit in the trunk. There are no words to describe how pissed off I am, and I didn't even have to deal with that this morning. Oliver seems to be taking it pretty well, but I am not cause I probably could have stopped it if I actually got out of bed when I heard the noise last night. I thought it was the neighbours cause we live in a duplex next to a bunch of other duplexes basically stacked on top of each other. When I DID go and look, there was no one down there. Didn't even see the mess in the morning cause of the dew on the windows. 

The ONLY consolation is that I am obsessive about locking my car and it had not been touched by last night's activities. 

The person who did this isn't worth half the pile of feces left in the car. You want to be a dick and steal stuff, fine, but the moment you trash someone's car like that, that crosses the line.

EDIT: I have taken the afternoon to calm down and have devised a "cunning" plan for how to proceed. I believe it will take a lot of patience, but I think I might be able to get this guy and out him to the police. I KNOW this person has been around before because I've seen anti-theft lights in Oliver's car. Chances are, he'll be around again.

I'll be sure to update if the plan works.